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But let me tell you something, folks. Now, when I have seven eighths of a gram of marijuana, I consider myself to be… out of marijuana. Is she there? Do I leave? You know, the fame and fortune and all that? Wife swap contacts, while we were building this house, my wife selected these really exotic Japanese toilets. And as you approach these toilets, the lid of the toilet automatically opens.

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I may or may not be a little drunk. You know what alterjative fair drunk driving test is? Drunk driving. Get in the car. Let me show you some skills.

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If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? How about a sobriety contest?

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I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do stand-up in Europe, and I did shows in Amsterdam, Guuys, Scotland, and London.

Horny online chat when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. Not because they try to say something funny.

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I only have the room key. Find fuck buddy free I really had to call and promote these shows and get everybody to come out, and I called this radio station in London. This is what this DJ says to me: If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?

Thanks for playing our game. That Yale snob fucking piece of shit, fucked me out of so goddamn much money.

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Mayhew passed away. I saw this on the news the other day. This befuddled me.

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And it turns out I had no problem with it at all. The other day I was watching Tarzan, the new Corssing movie. I just like to see it. Now the reason I know this term is, I have lesbian friends.

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My uncle was a Baptist preacher, and I was at his little white clapboard Baptist church in a little bitty town in Texas and I was sitting— Vacation bible school.

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